It’s finally here. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve, tossing and turning in bed, waking up early and shaking the presents to try and guess what you got. Did your parents get you that awesome new Lego set? Or did you just get a new pack of tube socks? Well, for life in the Premier League, a brand new superstar signing is that Lego set and waking up to a shitty pair of socks is like finding your team with less than what they had last year.
But no matter how your team fared this off season, there is always hope and a dream of a strong start. And hey, at the very least footy is back and your Saturday’s and Sunday’s are again filled with joy. So push away your girlfriend/wife, roll out of bed, cook up some breakfast, and get the Magnars on ice. With week one kicking off tomorrow, I thought I would throw in my two cents for some predictions and insight on a few big games.
Liverpool vs Stoke - Kickoff: 7:45am ET
This is a big statement game for Liverpool. What a tumultuous off-season for Brendan Rodgers and crew. Suarez being a whiney bitch for the majority of the summer is going to make for some awkward locker room interaction, but at least not for the first 6 weeks. If you don’t remember Suarez was a bit bitey last year and got himself suspended. But luckily for ‘Pool, they’re at home against a Stoke squad that will be fighting to stay above water all season.
Liverpool 1 – 0 Stoke
Arsenal vs Aston Villa – Kickoff: 10:00am ET
Arsenal have shown a lot of promise on their pre-season tour racking up lots of goals and looking like a strong side, albeit against C squads. Arsene Wenger has yet to land that marquee signing for Arsenal, as is tradition, so they may struggle against a mid-table side in Aston Villa. Riffled with injuries to start the season it could be tough for the Gunners to hold off Christina Benteke but being home will be an advantage.
Arsenal 1 – 1 Aston Villa
Swansea vs. Manchester United – Kickoff: 12:30pm ET
This asshole has been making some ridiculous week 1 predictions, and maybe just for shock value (I hate to even give him any more exposure with that link). But there’s no chance Man United take a loss at Swansea. It’s a tough place to go and United aren’t where they want to be with their squad just yet, but a draw at the very worst is my prediction. With or without Rooney, and I’m predicting no Rooney for this fixture, United’s squad is strong enough to take on Swansea at The Liberty.
Swansea 1 – 2 Man United
Crystal Palace vs Tottenham – Kickoff: Sun. 8:30am ET
Crystal Palace are going to have a tough time all season, and starting the season against Tottenham is no kind welcome to the top tier. Tottenham will be without Bale, for whatever reason you would like to believe, but new signings Soldado, Paulinho, Chadli and possibly Capoue will make an immediate impact for AVB. Tough start for the Eagles.
Crystal Palace 0 – 3 Tottenham
Chelsea vs Hull City – Kickoff: Sun. 11:00am ET
If you did decide to click on the link above, you may have noticed another “bold” prediction for this game. Well, as easy as it may be for Chelsea on Sunday, it’s not going to be that easy. Let’s give Hull some credit. I mean, not much, but some. Not a chance in the world Torres nets anything in the first few weeks of the season, because again the is pressure on Chelsea to win the title and Torres will inevitably fold like a lawn chair. But either way the Hull Tigers (NOT HULL CITY AFC, ALRIGHT? CAUSE THAT SOUNDS STUPID!) won’t be able to hang and Chelsea put this away with ease.
Chelsea 4 – 0 Hull City
Manchester City vs Newcastle – Kickoff: Mon. 2:45pm ET
Man City, those fuckers, AMIRITE? After splooging all sorts of cash to sign anyone and everyone they could (probably aren’t done), their team does look mighty imposing. And they’ll be hanging around all season, biting at the heels of Chelsea and Man United if not leading the table themselves at times. I think the team is going to take some time to mesh, if they can ever at all, but Newcastle at home won’t prove much of a challenge for this international all star squad. They’ll have bought one win by the end of Monday.
Man City 3 – 1 Newcastle